I take your hate and I create



I used to be so scared of men, I had reasons; a violent father, being raped in my teens, a series of violent and abusive relationships and a system so dismissive of women that we still can’t get paid equally.
 
So I had good 'excuses' to fear and be angry at men.
But then I made a little one, pretty much all by myself. :)
I had a choice to either learn to deal with my fears and grow, or sit with constant fear and hate.
I wanted to raise a beautiful healthy man.

So I decided to try and learn 'men'.
I sat with men weeping in abject grief over the loss of love, I sat with men uncomfortable in their own sinewed skins, I sat with men and listened of how they had been sexually assaulted, I sat with men and listened at their hopelessness now their children had been taken from them.
I sat and I listened and I learned.
I learned how beautiful and profound and complex men were.
I learned not to always be scared of their grief.
I learned how confused they felt over their loss of so-called ‘masculine’ identity.
I learned that men had a great and incredible capacity of love.
I learned that these great hulks of flesh and bone were as scared of me as I was them. (mostly)

These men became my real heroes. They didn’t have answers or even know how to fix it. They just told me their stories.
And I was lucky I was open enough to hear them.

A few weeks ago, I received this email from my website traffic, from a man who is yet to be held accountable.

‘Hey you little big mouthed slag I egged your car. Did you like it? I know where you live too. Wanna be raped? Fucken coming for you bitch.
Guess what? I'm not from Queensland. My mates aren't either.’

 
I am not exactly sure why I was targeted but I’m sure it’s something to do with my persistent public campaign to raise awareness of violence against women and my advocacy for feminism online or maybe it was just a really messy broken man-child angry for reasons unknown.
 
I want to tell you how I shrugged it off and laughed and how I didn’t give a shit, but I didn’t.
My legs felt hollow and my heart was pounding as I read it.
It really affected me and I’m so mad that it did. I didn’t want to give this man the satisfaction of knowing I was scared.
However the truth is, it did.

That one email triggered all the fear I have felt from all the abuse that I have experienced from the past, that really fucked me around for years.
The same abuse that fucked with my relationships because in my fear and anger, I shut down.
You see abusive men actually hurt everyone, from the person to they abuse to their victims families, future relationships and ultimately themselves.
 
Many men in my past had a hard time understanding why I’d get as upset, or why I would shake in anger or why I couldn’t trust them or why I'd hide under beds when I was distressed.
They had a hard time understanding why casual rape jokes weren’t funny nor why calling women sluts made me freeze inside.
These men had a hard time understanding the fear of being unsafe outside, of feeling sick to the stomach when drunk men started being rowdy, nor even of being scared of football players.
 
In time and with help from friends, counselling services and talking to kind, understanding men about this, I grew stronger and I connected with men who tried a lot harder to understand or simply just did. I have made beautiful solid friendships with these beautiful solid men.
 
Then from out of nowhere, a man was threatening to hurt me again.
 
Why? Because I stood up and I made myself stand out.
I know my so called ‘gender’ roll is to be mild and meek but that never helped me and in fact this silence keeps women in danger.
 
So I, in a loud and clear voice, am going to keep talking about this till it changes and I need your help.

I need you to talk about male violence against women openly and not be silent.
I need you to support women who have been assaulted by donating to organisations that protect and shelter women.
I need you to please, please educate you children to stand up for themselves and each other.
And I need you to not blame women.

This is my call to action to all the men I know, whether you call yourself a feminist or a equalist, whether you are young or old, whether a women has ever hurt you or left you.

*I call you to answer this man and tell him how you feel about what he wrote.
I honestly don’t want you to threaten him because the cycle of violence then just continues but please just let him know, how his words towards me, affected you.

The thing is, I am not going to give you his email address but it is likely he will read this so just leave a comment.
I do not want to feed his hate but I want to give all of you a chance to reply because I know that this man doesn’t get to win or get the last word.
I’d like you to simply address it…..

‘To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…’

*or alternatively if you don't know me personally


'To Shaun, who threatens with rape and violence...' or however you'd like to address it. :)
 
 
You see, this man doesn’t speak for you and I ask you, my friends, to speak for the real men.
 
I am going to use your words as for an art work to juxtapose against the threats women like me receive daily.
I take your hate and I create.
x

*Update16.04.15
Of course women are welcome to respond. The reason I asked men is that I wanted to offer men the space to respond to these threats, as men are the ones getting the bad publicity.

*Update 18.04.15
When I wrote this I only expected that a few of my male friends would respond, I have been overwhelmed with the support from men who I don't know, I have received support from around the world. I feel such an incredible sense of strength and unity every time I read a comment below and so have many other women. Thank you for raising your voices. x

 
Image by Bianca van Baast

44 comments

  • David

    David

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence I feel pity for you, but not in an empathetic fashion I have an inkling to believe that all people are born equal, that everyone has an opportunity to do good and select a path which not only benefits other but benefits themselves. I feel that your path has deviated from both of those, and in your hostility towards strangers, and verbal violence towards women you display your inability to become comfortable in yourself, and therefore be happy. Acts of aggression and degradation towards anyone, and especially women under the cloak of your own anonymity are exceptionally cowardly. By doing this, you are taking away time and life effort from another human being, and demanding that your petty requirements for attention be met. You are stealing happiness, and contributing to all things that make this world just that little bit harder to get by in. Please, Shaun - Just do things that make YOU happy. Forget this anger and angst, and realise that YOUR happiness will only come from being a good person, and that is something intrinsic to our human nature that cannot be denied. Be a good person, stop this aggression, and give some sort of apology.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence

    I feel pity for you, but not in an empathetic fashion
    I have an inkling to believe that all people are born equal, that everyone has an opportunity to do good and select a path which not only benefits other but benefits themselves. I feel that your path has deviated from both of those, and in your hostility towards strangers, and verbal violence towards women you display your inability to become comfortable in yourself, and therefore be happy.

    Acts of aggression and degradation towards anyone, and especially women under the cloak of your own anonymity are exceptionally cowardly. By doing this, you are taking away time and life effort from another human being, and demanding that your petty requirements for attention be met. You are stealing happiness, and contributing to all things that make this world just that little bit harder to get by in.

    Please, Shaun - Just do things that make YOU happy. Forget this anger and angst, and realise that YOUR happiness will only come from being a good person, and that is something intrinsic to our human nature that cannot be denied. Be a good person, stop this aggression, and give some sort of apology.

  • Rudi

    Rudi West End

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…’ I wish you would take a long hard look at your actions and your words. Threatening a woman, or any person with violence is fucked up. You might not agree with her views, but you're way out of line. Perhaps you could man up and apologise?

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…’
    I wish you would take a long hard look at your actions and your words. Threatening a woman, or any person with violence is fucked up. You might not agree with her views, but you're way out of line. Perhaps you could man up and apologise?

  • Dan

    Dan Brisbane

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…’ What happened to you brother? Did you never have a childhood? Who stole your innocence? How did you lose your self? Can you fill the void in your heart by hunting others? Is being a predator truly a satisfying life? Your shame cannot be healed by such behaviour. Your sorrow will grow. You lose the most in the end. Did you ever truly love your mother? She surely loved you to carry you for nine months and then raise you. If this is some sort of amusement to you, a joke or a pastime let me inform you that your behaviour indicates you have been abused in your life. I'm sure that time wasn't funny. Now you try to numb it all by going on the attack. Don't you want to remember joy? I am not going to waste anymore time on this. Life is precious. You are running out of time. We all have a limited number of breaths, of heartbeats, of days in this life. If you do not change now, stop the cycle of abuse and own your actions, then you will become the hunted. Again. You will be found. You will face charges. You will be caged. Our community will ensure this absolutely. There is no escape if you continue on your current path. Please seek help. Just start. Now. It's the hardest part, but by starting the painful process of reclaiming your true self you will begin your real life and start a new journey and you will help save lives. This is Manhood. In the communal tribe there is an empty seat and it has your name on it. You're not alone.

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…’
    What happened to you brother? Did you never have a childhood?
    Who stole your innocence? How did you lose your self?
    Can you fill the void in your heart by hunting others? Is being a predator truly a satisfying life?
    Your shame cannot be healed by such behaviour. Your sorrow will grow. You lose the most in the end.
    Did you ever truly love your mother? She surely loved you to carry you for nine months and then raise you.
    If this is some sort of amusement to you, a joke or a pastime let me inform you that your behaviour indicates you have been abused in your life. I'm sure that time wasn't funny. Now you try to numb it all by going on the attack. Don't you want to remember joy?
    I am not going to waste anymore time on this. Life is precious. You are running out of time. We all have a limited number of breaths, of heartbeats, of days in this life. If you do not change now, stop the cycle of abuse and own your actions, then you will become the hunted. Again. You will be found. You will face charges. You will be caged. Our community will ensure this absolutely. There is no escape if you continue on your current path.
    Please seek help. Just start. Now.
    It's the hardest part, but by starting the painful process of reclaiming your true self you will begin your real life and start a new journey and you will help save lives.
    This is Manhood. In the communal tribe there is an empty seat and it has your name on it. You're not alone.

  • Andrew Stafford

    Andrew Stafford Brisbane

    Hi, Shaun. I'm wondering what motivates you to write such things to anybody. Why do you want to hurt anyone? What makes you want to cause someone else pain, or take their dignity away as a human being? Is it revenge - have you been hurt yourself? Is making these sorts of threats fun - a game, with no real intention to cause harm behind them? Do you have a girlfriend, or even a wife? A sister? Obviously you have, or had, a mother. If someone threatened to rape, maim or kill them, how would that make you feel? Would you want to hurt that person, too? I hope that you would want to, on some level - it would show you can feel for another person's suffering, in which case, there's hope for you. If you wanted to hurt Ilona, a friend of mine, a successful artist and a mother - well, you succeeded, obviously. Does that make you feel good, powerful, more of a man? I'm pretty sure that in the eyes of most, it makes you look small and sad. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt here: aren't you better than this? I'd like to think you are. So, I don't want to hurt you for making these threats towards my friend. But I do want you to know that you're accountable for them - you own them - so be prepared to own any consequences that might follow. I hope you can find better ways to spend your time. Good luck in life, Andrew

    Hi, Shaun. I'm wondering what motivates you to write such things to anybody. Why do you want to hurt anyone? What makes you want to cause someone else pain, or take their dignity away as a human being? Is it revenge - have you been hurt yourself? Is making these sorts of threats fun - a game, with no real intention to cause harm behind them?

    Do you have a girlfriend, or even a wife? A sister? Obviously you have, or had, a mother.

    If someone threatened to rape, maim or kill them, how would that make you feel? Would you want to hurt that person, too? I hope that you would want to, on some level - it would show you can feel for another person's suffering, in which case, there's hope for you.

    If you wanted to hurt Ilona, a friend of mine, a successful artist and a mother - well, you succeeded, obviously. Does that make you feel good, powerful, more of a man? I'm pretty sure that in the eyes of most, it makes you look small and sad. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt here: aren't you better than this? I'd like to think you are.

    So, I don't want to hurt you for making these threats towards my friend. But I do want you to know that you're accountable for them - you own them - so be prepared to own any consequences that might follow. I hope you can find better ways to spend your time.

    Good luck in life,

    Andrew

  • Simon

    Simon quiet old country town

    Shaun, We have to do better than this. We have to evolve. We are the villains and we have to work at changing that. Messages like yours are not helping. It helps no one. No one at all. It gives nothing of any worth to anyone. We must think and feel at the same time. Every woman I've ever met is frightened of men. How hugely shit is that? How completely and utterly fucked is that? What good does that do? How can we trust each other, look out for each other, have each other's backs when there is that much fear? Thoughtless threats like yours add to the Avalanche of shit that men heap upon women every fucking day. It is an avalanche. Every day, every senseless act of stupid impulse by men adds up to this massive avalanche of fear and shit and loathing and mistrust and it's all bad. No joy from that. We must do better. And when we do, things will be so much better. Imagine looking into your sister's eyes, mother's, lover's and not seeing fear there. Imagine how beautiful that would be.

    Shaun,

    We have to do better than this. We have to evolve. We are the villains and we have to work at changing that. Messages like yours are not helping. It helps no one. No one at all. It gives nothing of any worth to anyone. We must think and feel at the same time.
    Every woman I've ever met is frightened of men. How hugely shit is that? How completely and utterly fucked is that? What good does that do? How can we trust each other, look out for each other, have each other's backs when there is that much fear? Thoughtless threats like yours add to the Avalanche of shit that men heap upon women every fucking day. It is an avalanche. Every day, every senseless act of stupid impulse by men adds up to this massive avalanche of fear and shit and loathing and mistrust and it's all bad. No joy from that.

    We must do better. And when we do, things will be so much better. Imagine looking into your sister's eyes, mother's, lover's and not seeing fear there. Imagine how beautiful that would be.

  • Jeff

    Jeff Brisbane

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence We all just want to get inside your head to work out wear this is all coming from. We all want to help. As a man this makes me sick in the stomach to hear. A lot of things in the news have been very upsetting of late regarding violence against women and something like this about someone we know and love brings it home. You can start to feel the vibe on the street change, women are closing up, being much more weary. You mite think they are just words, with intent or not, carried out or not they destroy people. We have all said dumb things when we are upset or angry but that is another level right there. You do need help man, before it destroys you. I haven't met Ilona yet but she knows I'd like to. If/when I do I'd like her to be the open book she has been so far with me and not all shelled up because of stupid threats like that. She has come a long way. I don't want to see her taking any steps back and bravo she seems determined not to. For your sake I hope they were just words with no intent, for I believe in Karma... and as they say Karma's the real bitch

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence

    We all just want to get inside your head to work out wear this is all coming from. We all want to help. As a man this makes me sick in the stomach to hear. A lot of things in the news have been very upsetting of late regarding violence against women and something like this about someone we know and love brings it home. You can start to feel the vibe on the street change, women are closing up, being much more weary. You mite think they are just words, with intent or not, carried out or not they destroy people. We have all said dumb things when we are upset or angry but that is another level right there. You do need help man, before it destroys you. I haven't met Ilona yet but she knows I'd like to. If/when I do I'd like her to be the open book she has been so far with me and not all shelled up because of stupid threats like that. She has come a long way. I don't want to see her taking any steps back and bravo she seems determined not to. For your sake I hope they were just words with no intent, for I believe in Karma... and as they say Karma's the real bitch

  • Michele

    Michele Bologna _ Italy

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence I don't write nor speak english well enough as i need in this circumstance but I wanna try anyway. Look inside you, you must know you're not the solution, you are the problem. Don't treat people as you do not want to be treated. Ask for help is not a shame so learn by this wonderfull woman to make a step into the light.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence
    I don't write nor speak english well enough as i need in this circumstance but I wanna try anyway. Look inside you, you must know you're not the solution, you are the problem. Don't treat people as you do not want to be treated. Ask for help is not a shame so learn by this wonderfull woman to make a step into the light.

  • Tom

    Tom North Carolina (USA)

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence...if this was your mother, sister, aunt, friend how would you feel? Justified in your hatred, vindicated by threatened violence, or mortified, shamed and changed? Would that that will be the case and with God's grace it will be. Peace to you, Shaun

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence...if this was your mother, sister, aunt, friend how would you feel? Justified in your hatred, vindicated by threatened violence, or mortified, shamed and changed? Would that that will be the case and with God's grace it will be. Peace to you, Shaun

  • Paul

    Paul Byron Bay

    To Shaun who threatened my friend with rape and violence. Some days we all feel angry, some days people do things that hurt us and make us feel like acting out towards them. People are annoying. Women may not respond to us the way we would like them to. We feel rejection, we feel like we have been affronted. It's not ok to respond with threats of violence and rape because of what we are feeling. Our world is a mess because of the threats and following through of violence. Men all over the world need to have a good hard look at themselves. How do you want to be treated. How would you like to see your mother, sister, aunty, daughter treated? It's not enough to think that someone somehow hurt you and deserves this. Us men all over the world need to be responsible for how we treat all people, women, men and children. Responding with love and not hate will change the world. Reacting with care and not pride. The changes we make within ourselves will change the world.

    To Shaun who threatened my friend with rape and violence. Some days we all feel angry, some days people do things that hurt us and make us feel like acting out towards them. People are annoying. Women may not respond to us the way we would like them to. We feel rejection, we feel like we have been affronted. It's not ok to respond with threats of violence and rape because of what we are feeling. Our world is a mess because of the threats and following through of violence. Men all over the world need to have a good hard look at themselves. How do you want to be treated. How would you like to see your mother, sister, aunty, daughter treated? It's not enough to think that someone somehow hurt you and deserves this. Us men all over the world need to be responsible for how we treat all people, women, men and children. Responding with love and not hate will change the world. Reacting with care and not pride. The changes we make within ourselves will change the world.

  • Trudi

    Trudi

    To Shaun.... I am not a man, but I would like to say something on behalf of my three sons. They are the people I am proudest to know in this world,young men who honestly don't look at anyone with the hatred and dismissive anger that you chose for my friend..... They love their mother and I was all they had a lot of times in our lives.i am certain that your mother is proud of you to, I have been affected by sexual violence and there is nothing that is more cruel than threats to degrade someone this way. If my sons ever wrote a message like this,I would personally escort them to the police to be held accountable. My boys have taught me that violence is not the birthright or nature of men, they have taught me to love, protect and nurture the good men in my life. The best any of us can do is own our mistakes and move on.i don't hate you,or wish you harm, I pray you can learn from this and perhaps become stronger through this experience. Ilona is a work of art.she generously shares her humanity and spirit with the world.maybe you to need to be heard? I truly wish you peace and healing, as hurt people, hurt people x

    To Shaun....
    I am not a man, but I would like to say something on behalf of my three sons. They are the people I am proudest to know in this world,young men who honestly don't look at anyone with the hatred and dismissive anger that you chose for my friend..... They love their mother and I was all they had a lot of times in our lives.i am certain that your mother is proud of you to, I have been affected by sexual violence and there is nothing that is more cruel than threats to degrade someone this way. If my sons ever wrote a message like this,I would personally escort them to the police to be held accountable. My boys have taught me that violence is not the birthright or nature of men, they have taught me to love, protect and nurture the good men in my life. The best any of us can do is own our mistakes and move on.i don't hate you,or wish you harm, I pray you can learn from this and perhaps become stronger through this experience. Ilona is a work of art.she generously shares her humanity and spirit with the world.maybe you to need to be heard? I truly wish you peace and healing, as hurt people, hurt people x

  • Phillip Brandolini

    Phillip Brandolini Byron

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…’ I have two things to say to you ! 1.As a father of 4 girls with a beautiful mother two sisters and a large bunch of my friends being women you need to know we the men of Australia wont tolerate this shit! My gut instinct is to track you down and set you straight but invariably and ironically this is probably the very same reason you have zero perspective! 2. Shaun I want you to to send an apology to Ilona , take it back now!! You have made a horrible error of judgement and you need to correct your attitude now for the sake of all your loved ones and any semblance of self worth! Shaun you are at the point of no return , you can help fix it by some honesty and asking society for some help. If you choose not to then I will add you to my list of mega maniacal dysfunctional screwed up disgusting and disrespectful bastards pile and have no empathy sympathy or support for your plight . If you have any decency own up and own it now!!

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…’

    I have two things to say to you !

    1.As a father of 4 girls with a beautiful mother two sisters and a large bunch of my friends being women you need to know we the men of Australia wont tolerate this shit! My gut instinct is to track you down and set you straight but invariably and ironically this is probably the very same reason you have zero perspective!

    2. Shaun I want you to to send an apology to Ilona , take it back now!! You have made a horrible error of judgement and you need to correct your attitude now for the sake of all your loved ones and any semblance of self worth!

    Shaun you are at the point of no return , you can help fix it by some honesty and asking society for some help.
    If you choose not to then I will add you to my list of mega maniacal dysfunctional screwed up disgusting and disrespectful bastards pile and have no empathy sympathy or support for your plight . If you have any decency own up and own it now!!

  • David

    David Lismore

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence, I can see that you are consumed with hatred for yourself, and that you are projecting that hate outwards towards women who you perceive to be strong and independent. You feel threatened by strong women because you are a weak male. A weak male is one who has not developed the female part of his soul; to be a complete and authentic human you must balance the male and female energies within. Your imbalance is manifesting as hatred and a desire to hurt, dominate or otherwise control the 'other', but that other is really part of yourself: the part that is undernourished and starved of love and understanding. There are always reasons for this. I suspect you had a difficult time growing up; perhaps you were abused or the victim of some other kind of violence. It takes a lot of inner strength to challenge the circumstances that moulded the person you have become. But I believe it is never too late to change. Your will is powerful. If you have the will to do so you can balance the energies within and become a complete human; a strong male who has access to the full spectrum of feeling, and would never dream of deliberately threatening another, because the tiny amount of power you might extract from that transaction is nothing compared to the full power accessed by those who are fully feeling authentic humans. I know the idea of 'access to the full spectrum of feeling' frightens you, because inside you feel so much pain and anger. That is obvious. But it is only by feeling your way through that ugly morass of negative emotions that you arrive at the place where you can feel beautiful emotions too. Although your conscious mind is no doubt rejecting these ideas, it is my hope that your subconscious recognises the truth of these words, and a seed has been planted that will one day bear the fruit of happiness which will benefit you, and by extension all living beings with which you have contact.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence,

    I can see that you are consumed with hatred for yourself, and that you are projecting that hate outwards towards women who you perceive to be strong and independent. You feel threatened by strong women because you are a weak male.

    A weak male is one who has not developed the female part of his soul; to be a complete and authentic human you must balance the male and female energies within. Your imbalance is manifesting as hatred and a desire to hurt, dominate or otherwise control the 'other', but that other is really part of yourself: the part that is undernourished and starved of love and understanding.

    There are always reasons for this. I suspect you had a difficult time growing up; perhaps you were abused or the victim of some other kind of violence. It takes a lot of inner strength to challenge the circumstances that moulded the person you have become. But I believe it is never too late to change. Your will is powerful.

    If you have the will to do so you can balance the energies within and become a complete human; a strong male who has access to the full spectrum of feeling, and would never dream of deliberately threatening another, because the tiny amount of power you might extract from that transaction is nothing compared to the full power accessed by those who are fully feeling authentic humans.

    I know the idea of 'access to the full spectrum of feeling' frightens you, because inside you feel so much pain and anger. That is obvious. But it is only by feeling your way through that ugly morass of negative emotions that you arrive at the place where you can feel beautiful emotions too.

    Although your conscious mind is no doubt rejecting these ideas, it is my hope that your subconscious recognises the truth of these words, and a seed has been planted that will one day bear the fruit of happiness which will benefit you, and by extension all living beings with which you have contact.

  • Marc

    Marc Lismore

    To Shaun, who threatened a person with rape and violence... I am surprised you would associate yourself with such a violent, cruel, inhumane act. This is disgusting, vile, incomprehensible, small-minded, putrid, repulsive and the list could go on. I am sure you would feel exactly the same way if someone threatened your mother, father, girlfriend or boyfriend with rape. I am sure you would enlist those same friends to enact vengeance. In reality your threat of violence and rape is a clear example of someone attempting to maintain 'power' through violence and intimidation. You are succumbing to the most destructive emotion known to man - fear. But sadly, what you miss is that you perpetuate a cycle of trauma so deep and terrifying that it affects everyone and everything. Humanity is only as strong as its weakest link and you my friend are the weakest link. Sadly, you will not read these posts. Anyone who threatens rape is clearly not open to discussion, rational thought, compromise, empathy or compassion. As such I actually address this post to other men. We need to shame men who act in violence. For whatever reason society accepts violence against women. It needs to become an absolute taboo in the most extreme sense which leads to complete social ostracisation.

    To Shaun, who threatened a person with rape and violence...
    I am surprised you would associate yourself with such a violent, cruel, inhumane act. This is disgusting, vile, incomprehensible, small-minded, putrid, repulsive and the list could go on. I am sure you would feel exactly the same way if someone threatened your mother, father, girlfriend or boyfriend with rape. I am sure you would enlist those same friends to enact vengeance. In reality your threat of violence and rape is a clear example of someone attempting to maintain 'power' through violence and intimidation. You are succumbing to the most destructive emotion known to man - fear. But sadly, what you miss is that you perpetuate a cycle of trauma so deep and terrifying that it affects everyone and everything. Humanity is only as strong as its weakest link and you my friend are the weakest link. Sadly, you will not read these posts. Anyone who threatens rape is clearly not open to discussion, rational thought, compromise, empathy or compassion. As such I actually address this post to other men. We need to shame men who act in violence. For whatever reason society accepts violence against women. It needs to become an absolute taboo in the most extreme sense which leads to complete social ostracisation.

  • Danielle

    Danielle Byron Bay

    To Shaun, Please read all the amazing comments from all the wonderful, kind, strong and brave men posting here. Thank you men, you make this world a better place for all of us xx

    To Shaun, Please read all the amazing comments from all the wonderful, kind, strong and brave men posting here. Thank you men, you make this world a better place for all of us xx

  • Trent

    Trent brisbane

    To Shaun, who threatened a person with rape and violence, Does threatening someone like this make you feel good? Proud of yourself? Tough and manly? You are sadly mistaken. Truly imagine if someone seriously made these threats to you. How would you feel as someone preyed upon you, degraded you, and forced themselves upon you as you were helpless to stop them? Do you still feel good about yourself? You are a very sad person, and if you truly do feel that you are tough and that you are manly by saying these things and intimidating someone, then you aren't even a person. You are less than an animal.

    To Shaun, who threatened a person with rape and violence,
    Does threatening someone like this make you feel good? Proud of yourself? Tough and manly? You are sadly mistaken. Truly imagine if someone seriously made these threats to you. How would you feel as someone preyed upon you, degraded you, and forced themselves upon you as you were helpless to stop them? Do you still feel good about yourself? You are a very sad person, and if you truly do feel that you are tough and that you are manly by saying these things and intimidating someone, then you aren't even a person. You are less than an animal.

  • Mark

    Mark At sea

    To Shaun, who threatened rape and violence, This display of aggression and dominance must make you feel like a strong and powerful man. The tragedy is you are so obviously feeling angry, bitter, hateful and powerless and it just makes you look small, sad and weak, with little more to your character than a nasty, spiteful temper. How do you not see this? Aggression is not strength. Rape or even egg-throwing is not strength. Even a professional fighter does not win a bout through aggression, he wins by superior skill and courage against a worthy and willing opponent. How do you feel about terrorists, Shaun? Their aggression is not strength, just cowardly acts perpetrated against unsuspecting people. Your threats and acts are just as cowardly and despicable. How can you not see this? Do you want to know what it feels like to be a strong, confident, well-respected man? Protect. Nurture. Forgive. Love. Only then will you receive the love and respect that you, and all of us, crave. And deserve.

    To Shaun, who threatened rape and violence,
    This display of aggression and dominance must make you feel like a strong and powerful man. The tragedy is you are so obviously feeling angry, bitter, hateful and powerless and it just makes you look small, sad and weak, with little more to your character than a nasty, spiteful temper. How do you not see this?
    Aggression is not strength. Rape or even egg-throwing is not strength. Even a professional fighter does not win a bout through aggression, he wins by superior skill and courage against a worthy and willing opponent.
    How do you feel about terrorists, Shaun? Their aggression is not strength, just cowardly acts perpetrated against unsuspecting people. Your threats and acts are just as cowardly and despicable. How can you not see this?
    Do you want to know what it feels like to be a strong, confident, well-respected man?
    Protect. Nurture. Forgive. Love. Only then will you receive the love and respect that you, and all of us, crave. And deserve.

  • Ben

    Ben

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence… I bet you're feeling pretty rotten right now. The truth is you probably have been for a really long time. You may not even realize it yet, but I know this is true because a happy healthy and confident man does not behave like this. once upon a time, I was feeling like you. Angry, emasculated and ignored. I too thought it was ok to threaten violence. In fact I did. It was an empty threat, like I'm sure yours is, but I'm not sure she knew that. The point is Shaun, this act may have made you feel powerful and in control for a while, but I bet it's worn off by now. I bet you feel as bad as you did before, if not worse. I did, and I promise you this feeling will stay with you forever unless you do something about it. Now this is the hard bit. You're going to have to "man up." You are going to have to see what you have done in its horrible glory, and your going to have to own up, and apologise. This is going to be brutal on you at first, but you won't believe how good you will feel after. Even if you don't get forgiveness, which frankly you'd be wise not to expect, the very act of taking responsibility will free you. It will allow you to be a confident and loving man that women will want to be around. It did for me. I have someone I love, who knows all of my problems, past and present, and loves me anyway. I hope you find the courage to say sorry, and become strong, confident and everything a real man should be.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…

    I bet you're feeling pretty rotten right now. The truth is you probably have been for a really long time. You may not even realize it yet, but I know this is true because a happy healthy and confident man does not behave like this. once upon a time, I was feeling like you. Angry, emasculated and ignored. I too thought it was ok to threaten violence. In fact I did. It was an empty threat, like I'm sure yours is, but I'm not sure she knew that. The point is Shaun, this act may have made you feel powerful and in control for a while, but I bet it's worn off by now.

    I bet you feel as bad as you did before, if not worse. I did, and I promise you this feeling will stay with you forever unless you do something about it. Now this is the hard bit. You're going to have to "man up." You are going to have to see what you have done in its horrible glory, and your going to have to own up, and apologise. This is going to be brutal on you at first, but you won't believe how good you will feel after. Even if you don't get forgiveness, which frankly you'd be wise not to expect, the very act of taking responsibility will free you. It will allow you to be a confident and loving man that women will want to be around. It did for me. I have someone I love, who knows all of my problems, past and present, and loves me anyway.

    I hope you find the courage to say sorry, and become strong, confident and everything a real man should be.

  • Mauricio

    Mauricio Byron Bay

    To 'Shaun' you are a pathetic sad excuse of a man and you show no remorse.... Please stop polluting the air with your vile speech, the internet with your ridiculous hateful rantings and the environment with your insipid uninspired saxophone torture. You would do well to go on a long solitary sojourn into the wide world as a last resort measure to possibly spark some kind of love into your love starved body. Amen.

    To 'Shaun' you are a pathetic sad excuse of a man and you show no remorse.... Please stop polluting the air with your vile speech, the internet with your ridiculous hateful rantings and the environment with your insipid uninspired saxophone torture.
    You would do well to go on a long solitary sojourn into the wide world as a last resort measure to possibly spark some kind of love into your love starved body. Amen.

  • Kris

    Kris Darwin

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence… I have a daughter, I don't want her to grow up living in fear of male violence. She deserves better. Ilona deserves better. Do the toughest and bravest thing you could do right now. Apologise. Thanks.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…
    I have a daughter, I don't want her to grow up living in fear of male violence.
    She deserves better. Ilona deserves better.
    Do the toughest and bravest thing you could do right now.
    Apologise.
    Thanks.

  • Simone

    Simone WA

    Dear Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence. Please seek help. You are not emotionally stable and if you continue on this pathof destruction, you could end up losing your freedom because you will go to jail. And if you go to jail because you were considered a threat to women, hopefully it will give you time to think about this: Women, just like men, have the right to feel free and safe. You may not have these simple pleasures if you end up in jail Shaun. So please, for your sake and everybody else's, get some professional help.

    Dear Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence. Please seek help. You are not emotionally stable and if you continue on this pathof destruction, you could end up losing your freedom because you will go to jail. And if you go to jail because you were considered a threat to women, hopefully it will give you time to think about this: Women, just like men, have the right to feel free and safe. You may not have these simple pleasures if you end up in jail Shaun. So please, for your sake and everybody else's, get some professional help.

  • Saskia Darwin

    Saskia Darwin

    As much as I'd like to comment about male entitlement on this thread, it is SO refreshing to see males commenting on social media threats (and any sort of) of violence - I hope this male commentary grows as it is sorely needed. The insights of previously aggressive and now thoughtful men show change is possible. Man up! Thanks!

    As much as I'd like to comment about male entitlement on this thread, it is SO refreshing to see males commenting on social media threats (and any sort of) of violence - I hope this male commentary grows as it is sorely needed. The insights of previously aggressive and now thoughtful men show change is possible. Man up! Thanks!

  • Lucille

    Lucille North Coast NSW

    To Shaun - who threatened my friend with rape and violence... I'm not going to be as nice or understanding as some of the lovely people commenting here. What you are doing is pathetic and cowardly. You are a shameful excuse for a human being who needs to walk into 'your house of mirrors' and sort yourself out. If you can't do it yourself, get some professional help and stop trying to screw other people's lives up by being such a dick.

    To Shaun - who threatened my friend with rape and violence...

    I'm not going to be as nice or understanding as some of the lovely people commenting here.

    What you are doing is pathetic and cowardly. You are a shameful excuse for a human being who needs to walk into 'your house of mirrors' and sort yourself out. If you can't do it yourself, get some professional help and stop trying to screw other people's lives up by being such a dick.

  • Tim

    Tim Sydney, NSW

    To Shaun, who threatened a woman with rape and violence, You may well think that most men think like you, underneath, that the rest of us are as angry and hateful as you. And that the difference between me and you is that we're just better at hiding it. You might think that the rest of us secretly thank you for saying and doing what we don't have the guts for. You're wrong about what the rest of us think. Most men have mothers and sisters and spouses and co-workers who they respect. Most men are not filled with hate, but instead are getting on with life, are trying to contribute to the world in their own way. Most men want the world to be a safer place for the women they love. If you're the kind of person who has enough bitterness and hatred to send threatening messages to people you don't really know, my natural reaction to you is not "right on" but more "please see your doctor about your mental health". (I don't know Ilona at all, but I saw this linked to on Twitter, and I thought it was a great idea and that I should contribute.)

    To Shaun, who threatened a woman with rape and violence,

    You may well think that most men think like you, underneath, that the rest of us are as angry and hateful as you. And that the difference between me and you is that we're just better at hiding it. You might think that the rest of us secretly thank you for saying and doing what we don't have the guts for.

    You're wrong about what the rest of us think.

    Most men have mothers and sisters and spouses and co-workers who they respect. Most men are not filled with hate, but instead are getting on with life, are trying to contribute to the world in their own way. Most men want the world to be a safer place for the women they love. If you're the kind of person who has enough bitterness and hatred to send threatening messages to people you don't really know, my natural reaction to you is not "right on" but more "please see your doctor about your mental health". (I don't know Ilona at all, but I saw this linked to on Twitter, and I thought it was a great idea and that I should contribute.)

  • Al

    Al Darwin

    Hey Shaun, I have a son and I'm working very hard to make sure he doesn't grow up to be anything like you. I hope this page makes you reassess your life for the better.

    Hey Shaun,

    I have a son and I'm working very hard to make sure he doesn't grow up to be anything like you. I hope this page makes you reassess your life for the better.

  • Harry

    Harry Darwin

    You aren't well Shaun. Your life has turned you into a twisted bully. But that's not an excuse. Shit happens to everyone. Face your problem. Look at yourself. You are weak as. Man up. It's not too late.

    You aren't well Shaun. Your life has turned you into a twisted bully.
    But that's not an excuse. Shit happens to everyone.
    Face your problem.
    Look at yourself.
    You are weak as.
    Man up.
    It's not too late.

  • Dean

    Dean Brisbane

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence. This post is on a page where the poster wanted input from Men. So I am confident we won't be hearing from the likes of you. Ilona and others have suggested that you are giving Men a bad name. I disagree because your response says to me that you are not a Man. Sure you may be male and your post does give us a pretty good indication that you are a dick but these aren't the words a Man would use. Your childish or even at best Adolescent post shows that you haven't the intelligence or comprehension to understand what it means to be a man. This may seem condescending but I'll try and use simple words that a troubled individual like yourself will understand. Your post tells me you feel threatened by the opinion of a woman. There are many reasons this maybe the case so I won't speculate on what your issue is but needless to say the problem is not what a woman has said but the problem is you Shaun. Your response smacks of someone who doesn't have the maturity or intelligence to recognise that you have a problem. You have resorted to threats of violence and used fear to try and intimidate won't make the issue go away. You are the issue here Shaun. What you have said may bolster your confidence and you got a laugh at the thought of how it might make your victim feel. You may even feel like others may respect what you have said. Sorry to say this isn't going to be the case unless your audience like minded child trolls from 4chan or adolescents in a school hard. I'm hoping the latter example isn't the case as I'd like to think we are teaching our children better than you seem to have been. As a parent my protective instinct tempted to use fear and violence against you. But because I am a man I control my emotions. Unlike you they don't control me. Most of what is said here won't mean anything and it plays into one of the possible reasons for your response is that you are such a troubled troll is that you did it because you are an attention seeker and all of this may reinforce your problem as we have fed the troll with our responses. So whilst everything I have typed may have been for naught I'll try pass on some advice. Try engaging your whole brain before engaging in communication and not that I think it's something a person such as yourself is capable of doing but try and picture some one using your words to a female you care about. If you think what you said in this case is suitable then I am concerned for the females in your life.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence. This post is on a page where the poster wanted input from Men. So I am confident we won't be hearing from the likes of you. Ilona and others have suggested that you are giving Men a bad name. I disagree because your response says to me that you are not a Man. Sure you may be male and your post does give us a pretty good indication that you are a dick but these aren't the words a Man would use. Your childish or even at best Adolescent post shows that you haven't the intelligence or comprehension to understand what it means to be a man. This may seem condescending but I'll try and use simple words that a troubled individual like yourself will understand. Your post tells me you feel threatened by the opinion of a woman. There are many reasons this maybe the case so I won't speculate on what your issue is but needless to say the problem is not what a woman has said but the problem is you Shaun. Your response smacks of someone who doesn't have the maturity or intelligence to recognise that you have a problem. You have resorted to threats of violence and used fear to try and intimidate won't make the issue go away. You are the issue here Shaun. What you have said may bolster your confidence and you got a laugh at the thought of how it might make your victim feel. You may even feel like others may respect what you have said. Sorry to say this isn't going to be the case unless your audience like minded child trolls from 4chan or adolescents in a school hard. I'm hoping the latter example isn't the case as I'd like to think we are teaching our children better than you seem to have been. As a parent my protective instinct tempted to use fear and violence against you. But because I am a man I control my emotions. Unlike you they don't control me. Most of what is said here won't mean anything and it plays into one of the possible reasons for your response is that you are such a troubled troll is that you did it because you are an attention seeker and all of this may reinforce your problem as we have fed the troll with our responses. So whilst everything I have typed may have been for naught I'll try pass on some advice. Try engaging your whole brain before engaging in communication and not that I think it's something a person such as yourself is capable of doing but try and picture some one using your words to a female you care about. If you think what you said in this case is suitable then I am concerned for the females in your life.

  • Andy

    Andy Victoria

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence. Well Shaun, not only do I consider Ilona a friend, she is also someone that I have huge admiration for. She is intelligent, talented, caring and courageous in a way you are yet to understand. Courage Shaun, think about it. It's not the ability to threaten or assault someone, it's the ability to look at yourself and your idea of manhood and say that's just fucken wrong. Violence against women and children is THE MOST COWARDLY ACT, and that is exactly what this is, cowardice. Man up and think for yourself.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence. Well Shaun, not only do I consider Ilona a friend, she is also someone that I have huge admiration for. She is intelligent, talented, caring and courageous in a way you are yet to understand. Courage Shaun, think about it. It's not the ability to threaten or assault someone, it's the ability to look at yourself and your idea of manhood and say that's just fucken wrong. Violence against women and children is THE MOST COWARDLY ACT, and that is exactly what this is, cowardice. Man up and think for yourself.

  • Coral

    Coral Brisbane

    To Shaun who threatened rape and violence to another human being. You aren't sick or unwell and I don't think you have mental illness, you don't have an intellectual disability either. You are not a man and you are not much of a human being using behaviour like that. There are no excuses for what you have done. Intruded on someone's privacy by approaching and egging their car. Making vile and disgusting threats. That is anti social behaviour and it is criminal behaviour. I hope you are caught soon. I hope the media has a field day with your identity. I hope you are charged and refused bail. I hope you are convicted and sentenced. I hope you go to prison. I hope you find yourself in a unit in the general prison population. I hope you come to realise that people who commit the sort of crimes you do are not big men or heroes in prison. They are at the bottom of the pecking order like those who harm children. I am a survivor who has become a thriver and I will cut you no slack. My father, my partner and my son are men who don't harm women. You know what you are doing and you are experience very different results than you planned for. Tough tits you threatened a woman who didn't hide and cower. She stood up and she spoke out and all the real men have rallied. You will be living with fear from now to when they lock you up. Bet you are not feeling so big and powerful now.

    To Shaun who threatened rape and violence to another human being. You aren't sick or unwell and I don't think you have mental illness, you don't have an intellectual disability either. You are not a man and you are not much of a human being using behaviour like that. There are no excuses for what you have done. Intruded on someone's privacy by approaching and egging their car. Making vile and disgusting threats. That is anti social behaviour and it is criminal behaviour. I hope you are caught soon. I hope the media has a field day with your identity. I hope you are charged and refused bail. I hope you are convicted and sentenced. I hope you go to prison. I hope you find yourself in a unit in the general prison population. I hope you come to realise that people who commit the sort of crimes you do are not big men or heroes in prison. They are at the bottom of the pecking order like those who harm children. I am a survivor who has become a thriver and I will cut you no slack. My father, my partner and my son are men who don't harm women. You know what you are doing and you are experience very different results than you planned for. Tough tits you threatened a woman who didn't hide and cower. She stood up and she spoke out and all the real men have rallied. You will be living with fear from now to when they lock you up. Bet you are not feeling so big and powerful now.

  • John

    John Castle Hill

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened another human with rape and violence…’ It is ok to be angry, it is ok to be frustrated. Some of the best shifts in thinking come from the precipice of emotion. Some also come from the silent comprehension of events past. Words can hurt more than fists, the reverberating threats to someone's life or vilification of their being echo in their shadow for as long as their blood flows. Why do you say things that would create such fear in another, why would you say such things that encourage women to think that all men are monsters. Labels, as necessary as they are to cope with the volumes of information that we process daily; they also create a picture over time of others that wear that label too. So the more men that say these hurtful things, reinforce the notion that all men are like this. If you have peers that encourage this behaviour, or you anonymously created this rant to indulge in no consequences; I encourage you as a stranger. As someone you may never meet, someone who was not the target of your hatred, someone who wants peace and understanding between genders; to talk to someone about it. All behaviour like that has triggers, find someone you can be vulnerable with and crack open this seed of hatred that can spawn comments that do not encourage or create a place of peace and understanding. It's ok, the past is not the present. Only you have the power to change yourself for a better tomorrow, the first step is awareness.

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened another human with rape and violence…’

    It is ok to be angry, it is ok to be frustrated. Some of the best shifts in thinking come from the precipice of emotion. Some also come from the silent comprehension of events past.

    Words can hurt more than fists, the reverberating threats to someone's life or vilification of their being echo in their shadow for as long as their blood flows.

    Why do you say things that would create such fear in another, why would you say such things that encourage women to think that all men are monsters. Labels, as necessary as they are to cope with the volumes of information that we process daily; they also create a picture over time of others that wear that label too. So the more men that say these hurtful things, reinforce the notion that all men are like this.

    If you have peers that encourage this behaviour, or you anonymously created this rant to indulge in no consequences; I encourage you as a stranger. As someone you may never meet, someone who was not the target of your hatred, someone who wants peace and understanding between genders; to talk to someone about it. All behaviour like that has triggers, find someone you can be vulnerable with and crack open this seed of hatred that can spawn comments that do not encourage or create a place of peace and understanding.

    It's ok, the past is not the present. Only you have the power to change yourself for a better tomorrow, the first step is awareness.

  • Fahad

    Fahad Sydney

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…’ Your words are that which contribute to a cycle of fear. The fear that many women have of men they don't know. The fear that precipitates my anxiety when meeting new women, and ultimately the irrational fear that is within yourself. Your words would normally fail to help anyone. They would only facilitate the continued breeding of negativity. Except now. Right now. Letter after letter. Word after word. Sentence upon sentence. Your hate and anger is being turned into good. Your poison shall water the seeds of change and in turn sprout hope. There is the capacity for good within you. The desire to love and cherish and cradle another. Anyone, anything, everyone, everywhere. Myself. You have ultimately shown me that I have nothing to fear when it is only good that I wish to accomplish. And so shall others stand up with pride and tear down their fears. So that we may take a step towards unity. Thank you Shaun, your words have come to mean so much to me.

    ‘To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…’

    Your words are that which contribute to a cycle of fear.
    The fear that many women have of men they don't know.
    The fear that precipitates my anxiety when meeting new women,
    and ultimately the irrational fear that is within yourself.

    Your words would normally fail to help anyone. They would only facilitate the continued breeding of negativity.
    Except now. Right now. Letter after letter. Word after word. Sentence upon sentence.
    Your hate and anger is being turned into good. Your poison shall water the seeds of change and in turn sprout hope.

    There is the capacity for good within you. The desire to love and cherish and cradle another.
    Anyone, anything, everyone, everywhere. Myself.
    You have ultimately shown me that I have nothing to fear when it is only good that I wish to accomplish.
    And so shall others stand up with pride and tear down their fears. So that we may take a step towards unity.

    Thank you Shaun, your words have come to mean so much to me.

  • jungle

    jungle Shaun's conscience.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence… 'There was a young boy called Shaun, Who's understanding of life came from porn, To transition him safely from boy into man, Concerned men are attempting reform.'

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…

    'There was a young boy called Shaun,
    Who's understanding of life came from porn,
    To transition him safely from boy into man,
    Concerned men are attempting reform.'

  • Matt

    Matt Byron Bay

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence… You are obviously a disturbed person, bitter at the way life has treated you, and unwilling to take accountability for your own happiness. You seem cowardly, hiding behind your threats and carrying out your terrorism under the cloak of darkness. I doubt you have that many 'mates' and you are definitely not making any new ones with these horrible and uncivilised attacks on Ilona (and probably a string of females throughout your life). How old are you? Egging someone's car...seriously? Only you can turn your life around Shaun, and this is not the way. The way is to own up to your actions and apologise. There are people in this world that are willing to help you, but you have to make the first step. Otherwise, all this shit gonna come back at you with interest Shaun...that's how it works. I hope you get it...one way or another.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence…

    You are obviously a disturbed person, bitter at the way life has treated you, and unwilling to take accountability for your own happiness.
    You seem cowardly, hiding behind your threats and carrying out your terrorism under the cloak of darkness. I doubt you have that many 'mates' and you are definitely not making any new ones with these horrible and uncivilised attacks on Ilona (and probably a string of females throughout your life). How old are you? Egging someone's car...seriously?

    Only you can turn your life around Shaun, and this is not the way. The way is to own up to your actions and apologise. There are people in this world that are willing to help you, but you have to make the first step. Otherwise, all this shit gonna come back at you with interest Shaun...that's how it works.

    I hope you get it...one way or another.

  • Rod

    Rod Lismore

    Shaun, your words are a vile attack on all women of the world. You obviously have some deep hurt going on inside and you either find it funny to write these foul words or you don’t know how to construct a good argument against whatever reason it is that you feel hurt by strong, powerful women. I’ve been in your situation before, I’ve drunkenly lashed out on spur of the moment txts and ‘spat’ words that were not constructive, it was just my way of stabbing away at my own pain and ultimately, it made me feel worse and it ruined friendships. Luckily for me I saw the errors of my ways and I apologized and have been forgiven. I’m (still) learning how to communicate better though, I’m constantly learning, that’s just the way life is but I am slowly growing and I like myself for it. I feel good for where I’ve come from and I’m excited for where I’m going. Shaun you can make this right, please own up and apologise. Don’t let your poor choice of words ruin your life and others around you. As a society we all need to rip the tape off our mouths and learn to speak up about issues such as violence against women, it’s the only way things will change. It will be a slow process but eventually men will learn that it’s just not right to speak to women like that, even the ‘thought’ of raping a woman would be taboo. Ilona, thank you for standing up and braving yourself, you are one of the most amazing women I know and I really admire the strength and courage you’ve found to rise above this. The world needs more of you so please don’t stop what you’re doing, keep on fighting!!! I can only imagine how hard this is for you to go through, but please know that we’ve all got your back. Always xo Final words to Shaun, your comments have forced a powerful communal reaction and there is a huge strength in numbers. Your threats have now gone beyond Ilona and it is now an attack on all women and you will be brought to justice. Don’t think for one minute you can hide from this. We will find you. “From your hate, we will create” Thank you Ilona ♥

    Shaun, your words are a vile attack on all women of the world. You obviously have some deep hurt going on inside and you either find it funny to write these foul words or you don’t know how to construct a good argument against whatever reason it is that you feel hurt by strong, powerful women. I’ve been in your situation before, I’ve drunkenly lashed out on spur of the moment txts and ‘spat’ words that were not constructive, it was just my way of stabbing away at my own pain and ultimately, it made me feel worse and it ruined friendships. Luckily for me I saw the errors of my ways and I apologized and have been forgiven. I’m (still) learning how to communicate better though, I’m constantly learning, that’s just the way life is but I am slowly growing and I like myself for it. I feel good for where I’ve come from and I’m excited for where I’m going.

    Shaun you can make this right, please own up and apologise. Don’t let your poor choice of words ruin your life and others around you.

    As a society we all need to rip the tape off our mouths and learn to speak up about issues such as violence against women, it’s the only way things will change. It will be a slow process but eventually men will learn that it’s just not right to speak to women like that, even the ‘thought’ of raping a woman would be taboo.

    Ilona, thank you for standing up and braving yourself, you are one of the most amazing women I know and I really admire the strength and courage you’ve found to rise above this. The world needs more of you so please don’t stop what you’re doing, keep on fighting!!! I can only imagine how hard this is for you to go through, but please know that we’ve all got your back. Always xo

    Final words to Shaun, your comments have forced a powerful communal reaction and there is a huge strength in numbers. Your threats have now gone beyond Ilona and it is now an attack on all women and you will be brought to justice. Don’t think for one minute you can hide from this. We will find you.

    “From your hate, we will create”

    Thank you Ilona ♥

  • Chris

    Chris Anywhere I want

    To Shaun who is a coward and a loser. You are not a man. You are the equivalent of a suicide bomber. You are a terrorist because you use terror to spread your disease because you don't have the intellect or the courage to face up to your own short-comings. I don't pity you. You disgust me and I hope you and everyone like you dies and leaves the rest of us REAL MEN to live in peace.

    To Shaun who is a coward and a loser.

    You are not a man. You are the equivalent of a suicide bomber. You are a terrorist because you use terror to spread your disease because you don't have the intellect or the courage to face up to your own short-comings. I don't pity you. You disgust me and I hope you and everyone like you dies and leaves the rest of us REAL MEN to live in peace.

  • Arne

    Arne NSW

    To Shaun who threatened my friend with rape and violence I am writing this because I love and respect Ilona. If you threaten her you threaten me as well. Here is my phone number 0417439689. You sound pretty angry but I am not scared of you. I hate that my friend is though. Why don't you pick on someone who can stand up to you. I look forward to hearing from you. A

    To Shaun who threatened my friend with rape and violence
    I am writing this because I love and respect Ilona. If you threaten her you threaten me as well. Here is my phone number 0417439689. You sound pretty angry but I am not scared of you. I hate that my friend is though. Why don't you pick on someone who can stand up to you. I look forward to hearing from you. A

  • Lynell

    Lynell Qld

    To Shaun who threatened to rape a woman I am not a man but I am married to one and gave birth to three, all of these men don't need to rape or to frighten or threaten and Shaun nor do you, to be a man means a lot of things, it means to have integrity, strength, honour, humour and a strong desire to be decent and caring, Shaun I dont know what your story is but I do know that you are none of the things I have mentioned, you need to read the comments above from some seriously good men, try not to be a coward, ask for forgiveness and seek help, because buddy you need heaps, it does not make you a hero or strong or brave to threaten a woman as you have; all that makes you is sad, weak and pathetic, so get some help, become a man, you never know you could be a good one; one day and your children can look to you with love and pride in their hearts, instead of the shame they would feel because of your threat

    To Shaun who threatened to rape a woman
    I am not a man but I am married to one and gave birth to three, all of these men don't need to rape or to frighten or threaten and Shaun nor do you, to be a man means a lot of things, it means to have integrity, strength, honour, humour and a strong desire to be decent and caring, Shaun I dont know what your story is but I do know that you are none of the things I have mentioned, you need to read the comments above from some seriously good men, try not to be a coward, ask for forgiveness and seek help, because buddy you need heaps, it does not make you a hero or strong or brave to threaten a woman as you have; all that makes you is sad, weak and pathetic, so get some help, become a man, you never know you could be a good one; one day and your children can look to you with love and pride in their hearts, instead of the shame they would feel because of your threat

  • Mark Heazlett

    Mark Heazlett Brunswick Heads

    To Shaun who threatened my friend Ilona with rape. You are obviously sick Shaun and need some help. I would suggest you retreat and look at who you have become, your anger, your pain and your need to project this onto another. You need to shed a skin, you need to separate yourself from all that crap. If you can you will be free to be you. Start with an apology to Ilona. Then yourself. All the best for your journey Shaun.

    To Shaun who threatened my friend Ilona with rape.
    You are obviously sick Shaun and need some help.
    I would suggest you retreat and look at who you have become, your anger, your pain
    and your need to project this onto another.
    You need to shed a skin, you need to separate yourself from all that crap.
    If you can you will be free to be you.
    Start with an apology to Ilona.
    Then yourself.
    All the best for your journey Shaun.

  • Terry

    Terry Lismore

    To Shaun, who threatens with rape and violence...REAL men don't do this. Please do a reality check. Learn that you are desperately needing to be a calm, happy man. Get some professional help. Become a REAL adult man.

    To Shaun, who threatens with rape and violence...REAL men don't do this.
    Please do a reality check. Learn that you are desperately needing to be a calm, happy man. Get some professional help. Become a REAL adult man.

  • Sarah

    Sarah New Zealand

    To Shaun, who threatens Ilona Harker with rape and violence... and every other anonymous/online rape/abuse threatener… What possesses you to act in this pathetic way? Why are you so desperate to attempt to exert some kind of pitiful power and control over someone? Why do you contain such low self esteem that one strong, confident, successful woman intimidates your fragile, bigoted ego so much that you feel a need to lash out abusively? How little do you regard and care for the females in your life? Why do you not consider how you would feel towards the man that makes the same threats towards the females in your life? How is it that you must surely know you would feel a burning loathing for the piece of scum that threatens your future girlfriend or daughter … and yet, how do you not realise you are this very piece of scum right now? What happened in your life to make you so weak and cowardly like this? How unsatisfied with yourself and your life must you be? How many tears of misogyny do you cry every day and night as you hear about all the many more strong, confident and successful women of the world? How do you feel, knowing you are nothing compared to the strong, confident and successful men of the world - the ones with the courage to stand up for and with woman, not against. Why do you regard and care for yourself so little that you stay a miserable, worthless person, contributing to the failure of this society - and feel like you cannot step up and be a better man? Why do you want to make life hard - not just for women, but men - by threatening them through threatening their loved ones - and also by giving all these great, decent, worthy men out there a bad name and reputation, by acting in a way that cannot be called that of a real man or really humane or just human at all? How can you live at this moment, without a heart and empathy for others? How do you live so cold and frozen, trapped in your bitter, hateful mind and ugly soul? How do you sleep at night and live with yourself, knowing how you are?

    To Shaun, who threatens Ilona Harker with rape and violence...
    and every other anonymous/online rape/abuse threatener…

    What possesses you to act in this pathetic way? Why are you so desperate to attempt to exert some kind of pitiful power and control over someone? Why do you contain such low self esteem that one strong, confident, successful woman intimidates your fragile, bigoted ego so much that you feel a need to lash out abusively?

    How little do you regard and care for the females in your life? Why do you not consider how you would feel towards the man that makes the same threats towards the females in your life? How is it that you must surely know you would feel a burning loathing for the piece of scum that threatens your future girlfriend or daughter … and yet, how do you not realise you are this very piece of scum right now?

    What happened in your life to make you so weak and cowardly like this? How unsatisfied with yourself and your life must you be? How many tears of misogyny do you cry every day and night as you hear about all the many more strong, confident and successful women of the world?

    How do you feel, knowing you are nothing compared to the strong, confident and successful men of the world - the ones with the courage to stand up for and with woman, not against.

    Why do you regard and care for yourself so little that you stay a miserable, worthless person, contributing to the failure of this society - and feel like you cannot step up and be a better man?

    Why do you want to make life hard - not just for women, but men - by threatening them through threatening their loved ones - and also by giving all these great, decent, worthy men out there a bad name and reputation, by acting in a way that cannot be called that of a real man or really humane or just human at all?

    How can you live at this moment, without a heart and empathy for others? How do you live so cold and frozen, trapped in your bitter, hateful mind and ugly soul?

    How do you sleep at night and live with yourself, knowing how you are?

  • Shawno

    Shawno Melborne

    To Shaun who threatened my friend with violence I have never witnessed a man physically abuse a woman. I have never had a female I know tell me they have been physically abused. I find abuse of any kind against women abhorrent. I am 184cm and weigh 120kg, I invite you to speak these words to me in person. I think the reason the abuse goes unseen by me is because if I or any man is passing abusers wait for us to pass. Change your ways while you can, one day someone will tell you they disapprove, you should hope it is this eloquent.

    To Shaun who threatened my friend with violence

    I have never witnessed a man physically abuse a woman. I have never had a female I know tell me they have been physically abused. I find abuse of any kind against women abhorrent. I am 184cm and weigh 120kg, I invite you to speak these words to me in person. I think the reason the abuse goes unseen by me is because if I or any man is passing abusers wait for us to pass. Change your ways while you can, one day someone will tell you they disapprove, you should hope it is this eloquent.

  • Andy

    Andy Melbourne

    To Shaun, who threatens with rape and violence. I am father of a lovely daughter and two sons. I dream of a world where my daughter does not have to live in fear. A world that might daughter has as much opportunity as my Sons. I try very hard to teach my Sons to treat everyone respect. They should be both caring and supportive. Thank for showing my Sons how not to behave... ever.

    To Shaun, who threatens with rape and violence.

    I am father of a lovely daughter and two sons.

    I dream of a world where my daughter does not have to live in fear. A world that might daughter has as much opportunity as my Sons.

    I try very hard to teach my Sons to treat everyone respect. They should be both caring and supportive.

    Thank for showing my Sons how not to behave... ever.

  • Aaron

    Aaron Gold Coast

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence If you've read these comments you're probably getting off on them are you Shaun. All this attention. After all, its what you crave. You crave it so much you have to make threats and carry out juvenile acts while running and hiding behind the cyber curtain and you don't care who you hurt to get it. After all, your view of the world is always right isn't it mate and there's always a ton of reasons why everyone else is wrong and you're right. You're never wrong are you mate and I bet those around you, if there are any left, are sick of your victim whinging or are exactly the same as you. The endless cycle of self justification, attack, getting off on the response and so it goes on. You daily reinforce the cycle and obsess over it because there is nothing else to you is there. Great contribution to the world there Shaun. Knock yourself out, good job. When the cycle gets tighter and tighter and you have to do it more and more to get the same high from it something will snap and you'll get a rude awakening. Maybe the cops will eventually get around to tracking you down and knock on your door. Maybe that doesn't worry you but it should. You're wasting your breath and your life Shaun Doesn't the fact that you get off so much on this tell you that you're sick and need help. The one thing you are unwilling to do which is the start of the rest of your life is to take responsibility for yourself. Life owes you nothing. Not many people like you get the chance this lady has given you - took a long hard look at it - its a gift you twat.

    To Shaun, who threatened my friend with rape and violence

    If you've read these comments you're probably getting off on them are you Shaun.

    All this attention. After all, its what you crave.

    You crave it so much you have to make threats and carry out juvenile acts while running and hiding behind the cyber curtain and you don't care who you hurt to get it. After all, your view of the world is always right isn't it mate and there's always a ton of reasons why everyone else is wrong and you're right. You're never wrong are you mate and I bet those around you, if there are any left, are sick of your victim whinging or are exactly the same as you.

    The endless cycle of self justification, attack, getting off on the response and so it goes on. You daily reinforce the cycle and obsess over it because there is nothing else to you is there.

    Great contribution to the world there Shaun. Knock yourself out, good job.

    When the cycle gets tighter and tighter and you have to do it more and more to get the same high from it something will snap and you'll get a rude awakening. Maybe the cops will eventually get around to tracking you down and knock on your door. Maybe that doesn't worry you but it should.

    You're wasting your breath and your life Shaun

    Doesn't the fact that you get off so much on this tell you that you're sick and need help.

    The one thing you are unwilling to do which is the start of the rest of your life is to take responsibility for yourself. Life owes you nothing.

    Not many people like you get the chance this lady has given you - took a long hard look at it - its a gift you twat.

  • Joe K.M.

    Joe K.M. Sydney

    To Shaun, who threatened a woman with rape: This is not OK, and contrary to your expectations the majority of men agree with me and not you. And that makes us richer than you, because the most valuable thing in this world is our relationships with our friends and loved ones, and with your attitude you can only be poorer not only than me but than most men.

    To Shaun, who threatened a woman with rape:

    This is not OK, and contrary to your expectations the majority of men agree with me and not you. And that makes us richer than you, because the most valuable thing in this world is our relationships with our friends and loved ones, and with your attitude you can only be poorer not only than me but than most men.

  • Dan

    Dan Brunswick Heads

    To Shaun who threatened my friend with rape and violence, When is it so that a boy becomes a man? Is it when he can bed a woman with a beer in his hand? Is it when he can hold his own in a drunken pub fight? I think it's when he can stand alone when he stands for what is right Your threat has exposed your unjustifiable cowardice but through the tremendous courage of this precious lady she has given you an opportunity to display true manhood/masculinity/strength.....it's up to you.

    To Shaun who threatened my friend with rape and violence,

    When is it so that a boy becomes a man?
    Is it when he can bed a woman with a beer in his hand?
    Is it when he can hold his own in a drunken pub fight?
    I think it's when he can stand alone when he stands for what is right

    Your threat has exposed your unjustifiable cowardice but through the tremendous courage of this precious lady she has given you an opportunity to display true manhood/masculinity/strength.....it's up to you.

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