Talking yourself down off the bridge

This is kinda an embarrassing thing to admit but I thought that maybe I am not alone in this thought process.
I have lots of imaginings, like we all do but some are specific scenarios that I play over in…

Lowing or crying

I wake with a headache 

It’s early and the trains are passing and a cow is crying. 
It’s not Spring so I wonder why a cow would be upset this far into summer. 
Has someone taken her last calf?

One night in Austin

I drive into Austin with knickers jumping after giving Fort Worth a quick peck as I packed up quick and left without looking back. The long, hard drive, musical expectations combined with my pulsing ovaries mean I slide into…

Suicide spaceship

Feeling suicidal isn’t as hellish as you’d imagine. 

The thought of finally being free from the shitpit of your life is more like a feeling of deep relief, like sinking your tired, sick to the bone body into to…

what scrabble taught me

Looking back one of the first signs something was awry was ignoring scrabble, specifically words with friends. 
It wasn’t that I didn’t care, I really did. I love scrabble. 
I’m not that good but I love playing anyway.
Of course…

The charm of Smithy the law maker

The berth I booked on the ship over had four bunks.
I was late getting to it as I deemed it necessary to down a few dark ales in celebration of arriving at the ship on time after a few…


Rule Breakers, Trouble Makers and the road to hell....

I have a rule. 

Well, I have a few rules and most of these can pretty much be covered by the simple principle of using your manners. 
There are exceptions such as, remembering that people are human and killing…

Memories of the 8 weeks when I worked at a brothel.

Montana was a sex worker I met in when I lived in Brisbane. Montana wasn’t her real name; I don’t remember what her real name was. A few of the women working at 88 had names based on American states;…

Silver-lining suicide.

It usually happens around 3-4am. 
The waking with a dead heaviness and then remembering. 
Remembering everything all at once.
A deluge of rotten debris and there you are, instantly wide-awake, heart hurting awake. 
Like demented and panicked children running in…

The magic of men

I post often about what gender inequality does to women but I am increasingly more aware of how this imbalance affects men, especially as I am really concerned about the devastating rise of male suicide. 

I’m writing this in…